I kinda miss you?
No fuck that , I hope you tripped on your way out and broke your teefesez. Oh where do I begin...
When I say that 08 was the worst year of my life I'm not bringing the dramz on the internets. The opening act of 08 was the sudden death of my oldest and best friend. Then came the A bomb. My mom died of cancer a couple months later.
I don't want to bitch and moan but she was the closest thing I had in a relative. Thank god I had Becky to support me through those times. In the meantime I was getting fed up with this whole comics buisiness , even before the event of my mom's passing. But I had to work during her hospitalisation , passing, and even funeral. That kinda killed my soul and I felt I had to reset. Because like some Pavlovian experiment I connected making comics with ... torture?
Anyhoo, restart, I did it and it's working. A lot of good stuff happend during 08, we got a frikkinnn eisnerrr ho-mieee! But the thing that made me upset is that my head was too heavy and too wrongly focused on misery that I couldn't enjoy it as much as I'd like to.
2008 gave me a lot of good stuff too and 2000-2008 shaped me to the amaaazing person that I am today. 2008 also made me paranoid and death obsessed, I didn't want to do a lot of things , or start other from fear of fail. Hell, I even developed a fear of flying, especially flying during 08...
Luulz. I started keeping score like "oh this paperwork thing backfired, its cuz 08" "my pc crashed, it's cuz 08" "my bank dept is getting bigger, it's cuz 08" "I broke my toe, it has to be 08". That sort of thinking puts you in a bad-shit-collector position, almost seeking out bad stuff, to "prove a point". Well if you look for shit, guess what , chances r that you are going to find it. So you end up doing something dramatic to prove a point, like burning all your trash/clothes and "memorabilia" instead of just putting 'em in a trashbag.
No, fuck that statement, it felt guuuud haha. Especially the dance naked around the fire part.
In one way or another 08 was defining year for me. A rollercoaster of "you got a movie deal!" "your mom is in ER!". That stuff can confuse a person. Even make him think that if something good happens, something bad is for sure to follow, that shit can fuck you up. Make you afraid of success or whatever. But yea, this last year taught me a lot of things, made me stronger, forged me in a way that I feel I can take on anything. But that its not my point and the point of these posts, it's not some sort of attention-whoring or internet dramz. It's to say to everybody else that is in a bad spot that things will work out eventually, for the best.
Hi mom, you know I'm doing good.
Love V.
